Why travel?

Bicycling in Oland, Sweden.
Oland, Sweden

I’ve been asking myself lately, what is it about travel that is so compelling to me? WHY do I want to travel, aside from the obvious reasons?

When I was traveling through Europe by myself last year I would sit on the train looking out the window and be acutely aware of the sense of calm and contentment I felt at that moment.  I had this clarity of thought that I’ve never really had before. Since I was away from my home, my friends and my family I was able to REALLY think about what I wanted out of life and what makes me happy. When you’re away from the influences of your peers, society and the bustle of everyday life it’s somehow easier to get to the root of your own needs and desires.

I was looking through my travel notebook the other day and found this list I made from about the halfway point of my trip.

What do I want?
*Freedom
*To be creative
*To have time
*To travel
*To write

I think my biggest fear is that I won’t be able to HAVE the life that I WANT. That I’m somehow not entitled to it. I’m working towards my goals on a daily basis, but the fear of “What if it doesn’t work and I have to get an office job?” is terrifying to me.  Not that there’s anything wrong with office jobs… I just know that it wouldn’t fulfill me.
On the vein of fear, here is another “deep thought” I found in my notebook.

“This trip has fed my soul but now I’m afraid I’ll be hungry for more for the rest of my life.” Again, that word “afraid.” What am I afraid of?

Somewhere in Eastern Europe I was on the train and listening to the CBC radio Q podcast with Jian Gomeshi. He was interviewing Shania Twain and she was talking about her divorce and getting through hard times. This quote just resonated with me and I wrote it down to remember for later.

“Liberation means not living under the thumb of fear.”

I feel like I’ve been living under fears thumb for years! What a perfect way to put it into words. I felt empowered taking my trip, but the fear has crept back in that I won’t be able to do it again. I’m slowly shoveling out my doubts and fears and trying to replace them with hope and the confidence in my ability that I can create my life, rather than let it just happen to me.

So, what would my life look like if I were to custom design it for myself?

Ideally I would make my art and sell it at craft shows, farmers markets and small galleries. Then I’d travel to re-fuel my creativity tank, come home, and repeat. In a perfect world I’d go on some sort of a trip every 3 months (Oh, to dream!)  blog on the road and hopefully have some avenues of income that involve travel writing. I know it’s possible. I see other bloggers doing it. I just want it NOW! Patience grasshopper. Patience.

I don’t think I could do what a lot of people do and sell everything and be a total nomad. I LOVE my home. I’m a home body by nature, and feel unhinged when I don’t have a stable home base. Plus, I’d miss my honey if I was away all the time. Thankfully he understands my need to explore, and my need to do it on my own. And my pup Henry? I couldn’t leave him for 6 months again. I need to have my re-fresh and re-charge time.

I find talking about what I want seems to make things come to fruition, so the next few months will probably bring many more blog posts just like this, only they’ll hopefully be peppered with small successes, which I’ll be sure to report here as well. Bring it on!

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8 Responses to Why travel?

  1. creative quest June 25, 2012 at 5:36 am #

    I love this post.
    I’ve been on that train… the one that is like a bubble from which you see the world around you and yourself reflected back.
    it’s quiet or noisy but it all sounds like a sound track…
    And you know where you are going
    you know that you you have no idea what it will be like when you get there.
    and you love it.
    …. now to bring that home.

  2. Jo June 25, 2012 at 5:23 pm #

    Thanks for sharing that. I really examined fear in my life this past year. People tell you to get over it or past it but for me what works is getting out there & throwing Life at it.

    You know, artists & writers are often the most happily miserable people. They suffer and grieve and spaz out and doubt…my point is, it’s just life, like the one you’re living, only different–you have to choose it, but then it’s yours.

    • My name is Andrea June 25, 2012 at 10:43 pm #

      Yeah! Throw life at your fear! I love that! IWhat I find is that if I don’t face my fears and tackle them then I feel so much worse. Lets kick fear to the curb!

  3. sydneyaaliyah June 26, 2012 at 8:55 am #

    Hi Andrea. Great post. I really like the idea of having “confidence in my ability that I can create my life, rather than let it just happen to me.” That really articulated perfectly what I have been struggling with. I know what I want my life to look like, but still so unsure of how to make it happen or if it will happen. Nice to know I am not alone in being afraid of this. I look forward to reading how you deal with it.
    Thanks for being so honest on your blog. I need to do more of that.

    • My name is Andrea June 26, 2012 at 5:52 pm #

      You are definitely NOT alone! I’m learning every day about how to ask for what I want and not be afraid of rejection… The only way to get results is to put yourself out there! What is your blog address, I’d love to read it!

  4. Nomadic Samuel Jeffery June 26, 2012 at 10:31 am #

    There have been times in the past where I’ve questioned my desire to be nomadic; however, after years of living overseas I’ve come to realize it’s my calling in life 🙂

    • My name is Andrea June 26, 2012 at 5:54 pm #

      If I could travel 3 months of the year (Jan. May and Sept.) that would probably fulfill my travel desires… there is a teeny tiny part of me that loves the idea of being a nomad too though… How do you cope with missing your friends and family back home? That’s what I’d find the hardest thing.

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